Faith.Grace.Prayer.Repentance.Forgiveness.Bible.Justification.
I'm assuming a number of you reading this blog have been Christians for quite some time. Some of you might not be, but I encourage you to continue reading anyway. What comes to mind when you see the seven words at the beginning of this post? Can you remember who told you what those words mean or where Scripture talks about them? Can you cohesively explain them to someone who's new in Christ?
After we've been a part of the Family for awhile, we tend to move on to 'more advanced' subjects like Free Will vs Predestination or Pedo vs Believers baptism or 'Do you receive the Spirit at birth or when you become saved?' All these subjects are important, but when it comes to courses in Christian basics, we tend to think we don't need them. 'Those classes are for infants in Christ.' Are they? When was the last time you thought about what the Bible basis for prayer was? Why prayer? How does prayer work? Who is prayer about? Even professional basketball players routinely practice basic skills (dribbling?).
For the past few weeks, I've been in a Sunday School class called Spiritual Bootcamp. The class has been a wonderful refresher for me. I've also learned a number of things about the subjects above and others. It doesn't mean I didn't know the fundamentals. It doesn't mean I didn't have a biblical foundation. But I've discovered there were places my biblical foundation needed to be refortified.
We can so easily discard the basics and fundamentals as 'easy' and 'no-brainers.' But how easy are the fundamentals? Is it easy to deal with the reality that you are a filthy sinner who deserves enduring the eternal wrath of God? Is it easy to believe a righteous God sent His ONLY Son to endure that wrath so you didn't have to? Is it easy to praise God in the storm of reality? Is it easy to leave the future of a loved one living in rebellion to God? Is it always easy to pray?
Brothers and sisters, we live in a broken, fall world. We are attacked on all sides and if we do not perform maintenance on our foundation, it will begin to rot. I encourage you to get back to basics. Talk about the concept of grace or faith or love with a pastor or spiritual leader. Take a course of Spiritual Bootcamp. When have you ever regretted strengthening the most important relationship you'll ever have? It may give you the tools you need to share your faith with someone. You may come to find out that you were not who you thought you were. Anyway you slice it, it's worth it.
<3
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Sunday Morning Expansion
John 21:4-14
4 Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. 5 Jesus said to them, “Children, do you have any fish?” They answered him, “No.” 6 He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. 7 That disciple whom Jesus loved therefore said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea. 8 The other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, but about a hundred yards off.
9 When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire in place, with fish laid out on it, and bread. 10 Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” 11 So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, 153 of them. And although there were so many, the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and so with the fish. 14 This was now the third time that Jesus was revealed to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.
This was (roughly) the passage Pastor Glenn preached from this morning. He talked about how God provided for the disciples abundantly even when they didn't know it was Christ, at first. The net did not break, even though it should have from its load. Jesus had a fire for their catch all ready when they got back to shore.
I love my pastor and he made wonderful observations and the sermon overall was really good. But I couldn't help thinking of how this passage applied to a couple of situations I have been involved in the past few weeks.
A couple of friends who are dear to me have been going through some of the most difficult experiences in their lives to date. Each of these friends has come to me for advice, for help, for encouragement, or for a shoulder to cry on. Three years ago, two years ago, a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to be there for these friends like I can now. I have the completed picture of my life's tragedy in my past and it's given me the tools I need to help the ones I love go through similar experiences.
God provided for me abundantly in my trials, but that was not the end of that. I firmly believe God allows bad things to happen to us so that we can share our testimonies with others. Our testimonies give credit to who God is and helps us advice others. My suffering is an avenue of service. Not only was I provided for abundantly, but the ones I care for are also being provided for abundantly.
Loved one, you may be reading this blog. God is providing for you. Abundantly.
Don't forget.
I love you.
<3
4 Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. 5 Jesus said to them, “Children, do you have any fish?” They answered him, “No.” 6 He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. 7 That disciple whom Jesus loved therefore said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea. 8 The other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, but about a hundred yards off.
9 When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire in place, with fish laid out on it, and bread. 10 Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” 11 So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, 153 of them. And although there were so many, the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and so with the fish. 14 This was now the third time that Jesus was revealed to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.
This was (roughly) the passage Pastor Glenn preached from this morning. He talked about how God provided for the disciples abundantly even when they didn't know it was Christ, at first. The net did not break, even though it should have from its load. Jesus had a fire for their catch all ready when they got back to shore.
I love my pastor and he made wonderful observations and the sermon overall was really good. But I couldn't help thinking of how this passage applied to a couple of situations I have been involved in the past few weeks.
A couple of friends who are dear to me have been going through some of the most difficult experiences in their lives to date. Each of these friends has come to me for advice, for help, for encouragement, or for a shoulder to cry on. Three years ago, two years ago, a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to be there for these friends like I can now. I have the completed picture of my life's tragedy in my past and it's given me the tools I need to help the ones I love go through similar experiences.
God provided for me abundantly in my trials, but that was not the end of that. I firmly believe God allows bad things to happen to us so that we can share our testimonies with others. Our testimonies give credit to who God is and helps us advice others. My suffering is an avenue of service. Not only was I provided for abundantly, but the ones I care for are also being provided for abundantly.
Loved one, you may be reading this blog. God is providing for you. Abundantly.
Don't forget.
I love you.
<3
Monday, September 2, 2013
To Lighten the Mood
I'm aware that the last post was rather depressing and melancholy, so I've decided to write about more uplifting topics today.
Over the past couple months or so, I'm happy to tell you that we have a new brother and sister in Christ. I was filled with so much joy to the point of tears on both accounts. The sister is a former Mormon who had been having spiritual discussions with two co-workers at Chick-fil-A. The brother is a young man who grew up in my home church (First Baptist of Delphi) and had strayed somewhat from his upbringing during college. I've seen so much growth and fruit from this young man in the few weeks I've been back in Indiana. It fills me with tremendous joy.
I was (finally) able to visit a very old friend (pretty much like a sister to me) last week and her family. Her youngest son was born pre-maturely, but now he is a happy, strong little boy. Did I mention he's very inquisitive and loves to take books off of shelves to look at them? We must have a future scholar on our hands, er, laps. ;)
A number of couples are anticipating the birth of their first-born children. One of the ladies was a dear friend of mine in high school and I'm excited that she gets to step into this next step of her life. Two couples I know are not married. I'm comforted to know that God can redeem any situation and that babies born in even the worst of circumstances still bring Him joy and glory. Their conception may have been an 'accident' in our eyes, but they are formed by God. He was not surprised at the result in the pregnancy test. He doesn't think this is a catastrophe.
My allergies are much better today. My eyes weren't sore and raw like they have been for days. Nobody today has asked me if I'm tired or been crying about something. Allergies go, but chronic pain stays. A woman who is almost like my second mother experiences a level six pain on a day to day basis.
God is sovereign and gives us grace to endure what is beyond our control. The bad things, the hard things, the things that break you're heart are not God's weakness being revealed, but our weakness recognizing God's strength.
"7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;" --- 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
God has the victory. We may be near insanity or despair, but we if we have Christ, we have the ultimate victory. It's hard times that make the deliverance significant.
"11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." --- 2 Corinthians 4:11
Our suffering identifies us with Christ. That is an honor and a joy.
Over the past couple months or so, I'm happy to tell you that we have a new brother and sister in Christ. I was filled with so much joy to the point of tears on both accounts. The sister is a former Mormon who had been having spiritual discussions with two co-workers at Chick-fil-A. The brother is a young man who grew up in my home church (First Baptist of Delphi) and had strayed somewhat from his upbringing during college. I've seen so much growth and fruit from this young man in the few weeks I've been back in Indiana. It fills me with tremendous joy.
I was (finally) able to visit a very old friend (pretty much like a sister to me) last week and her family. Her youngest son was born pre-maturely, but now he is a happy, strong little boy. Did I mention he's very inquisitive and loves to take books off of shelves to look at them? We must have a future scholar on our hands, er, laps. ;)
A number of couples are anticipating the birth of their first-born children. One of the ladies was a dear friend of mine in high school and I'm excited that she gets to step into this next step of her life. Two couples I know are not married. I'm comforted to know that God can redeem any situation and that babies born in even the worst of circumstances still bring Him joy and glory. Their conception may have been an 'accident' in our eyes, but they are formed by God. He was not surprised at the result in the pregnancy test. He doesn't think this is a catastrophe.
My allergies are much better today. My eyes weren't sore and raw like they have been for days. Nobody today has asked me if I'm tired or been crying about something. Allergies go, but chronic pain stays. A woman who is almost like my second mother experiences a level six pain on a day to day basis.
God is sovereign and gives us grace to endure what is beyond our control. The bad things, the hard things, the things that break you're heart are not God's weakness being revealed, but our weakness recognizing God's strength.
"7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;" --- 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
God has the victory. We may be near insanity or despair, but we if we have Christ, we have the ultimate victory. It's hard times that make the deliverance significant.
"11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." --- 2 Corinthians 4:11
Our suffering identifies us with Christ. That is an honor and a joy.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Baffled
I don't consider myself to be an intellectual. I don't claim to be smart or dumb. I consider myself pretty mediocre. I am easily baffled but I don't have a problem filling out an order form or billing information or renewing my vehicle's registration online.
Some of the things that baffle me are as follows:
Calculus
Whether zebras are white with black stripes or black with white stripes
People who are just plain mean or bitter
X bar theory (for all you linguists out there)
Plain bagels
Hot dogs
IU fans
Food Stamps
Another thing that baffles me is life.
Think about it.
Every morning you wake up, you anticipate the rest of your life being the same as today or relatively similar to yesterday. If you do think there's going to be a change, it's one you anticipate or one you are in control of. One of the biggest illusions we have as Americans (or as human beings) is we each think 'I am the master of my own destiny.' Well, no.
Within the last year
4 good friends of mine have been fired or laid-off from their jobs
2 have been diagnosed with progressive cancers
1 of the above died a month ago
A friend's baby was born already dead
Close friends are experience major chronic pain
Both of my parents have had surgeries and spent more than two days each in the hospital
For the first time in my life, my dad was unable to work for months
Within the last few weeks, more than three dating couples who had been together between 15 months and 3 years broke up
Friends, family friends, and family are all having issues outside their control and others are suffering life long consequences for past decisions
I don't know if it's because of my age or what, but I don't remember this much sorrow going on in the lives of those close to me before. My heart aches for these people. It baffles me that God has spared me from enduring these things.
I've been thinking about this a lot over the summer:
Why has the Lord chosen to spare me? I'm no better than these people. As a matter of fact, I deserve to be the one enduring unimaginable troubles.
But this is not his plan for me. Maybe he is breaking my heart for these loved ones that I may pray and serve them. Maybe he does have unimaginable troubles in store for me and he's called me to learn from the trials of others in preparation for my own.
Through the above people who are suffering, I see God providing in equally unimaginable ways. God's grace in action, God's love in action, people coming closer together or hearing about him for the first time. Not all suffering leads to despair.
I pray that God provide for their needs and that I learn from their experiences and can encourage them. I also pray, with a burdened heart, for those who don't know him. His heart breaks for you. Let him catch your tears and lift you up.
It will cost you your life, but it will be a life worth living.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." --- Matthew 11:28
Why has the Lord chosen to spare me? I'm no better than these people. As a matter of fact, I deserve to be the one enduring unimaginable troubles.
But this is not his plan for me. Maybe he is breaking my heart for these loved ones that I may pray and serve them. Maybe he does have unimaginable troubles in store for me and he's called me to learn from the trials of others in preparation for my own.
Through the above people who are suffering, I see God providing in equally unimaginable ways. God's grace in action, God's love in action, people coming closer together or hearing about him for the first time. Not all suffering leads to despair.
I pray that God provide for their needs and that I learn from their experiences and can encourage them. I also pray, with a burdened heart, for those who don't know him. His heart breaks for you. Let him catch your tears and lift you up.
It will cost you your life, but it will be a life worth living.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." --- Matthew 11:28
Monday, August 26, 2013
Wrapping Up the Summer
I apologize if this post contains way more information than a normal blog post should. I had every intention of writing a post weeks ago, but things like SIL, moving, and my job had other plans. ;)
The last two weeks of SIL, I was fortunate to be in bed before 1:30am. Seriously. I slept so little during the week and I napped once or twice. I usually nap all the time at SIL. Haha, not this time! My weekends weren't any better. The second weekend of July I went to Minot, the third weekend of July I went to Detroit Lakes, and the last weekend of July I went to Minot (once again) for the State Fair. I really enjoyed my time at SIL despite the deadlines and project requirements etc. Somewhere in there I had a week that had over four projects due. Finals week was my easiest week since June. Yes, finals weeks was easier.
I was glad to be done with classes, to see friends and family I had missed, and I was very excited to start earning a paycheck again. However, I was more sad to leave. I always enjoy my time at SIL, but each summer has been different from all the summers before it. I'm in a different place emotionally and spiritually each summer and each summer I learn something about God that positively astounds me.
I was blessed to have two riding companions come with me as far as Chicago on the return trip. Their names are Larinda and Brenda*. Larinda is the 4th (I think) of twelve or thirteen children. She's a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and lives with her family in South Carolina. She hopes to do Bible Translation in South America. Brenda has two siblings (I think) who are brothers. Brenda is Korean but she grew up in China where her dad was/is a Bible translator. Brenda graduated from high school early and finished her undergraduate degree at CanIL in Vancouver (the Canadian version of SIL that also offers courses during the fall and spring). Brenda and Larinda both started their Masters programs this summer. All three of us were homeschooled. :)
We left Grand Forks on Friday at 2pm CT. From Grand Forks to Minneapolis is a five hour drive, but with these ladies it felt like two. We rolled into Chicago two hours later than we had anticipated, but it didn't matter so much to us. After dropping off the two girls, I trudged the rest of the way to my parents' home in Rossville, IN and passed out on the couch around 6:30am EST. I am so thankful that I had sermons on my iPod to listen to. They engaged my mind long enough to help keep me awake and alert instead of becoming a zombie.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I slept until about noon when Dad came downstairs. He was the only one home (Mom and the twins were in Florida visiting Grandma & Grandpa) and was surprised to find me on the couch.
"I thought it made more sense to come all the way here and leave my stuff from ND here instead of unpacking it in West Lafayette just to pack it all up again," I said. Or at least, that's what I meant to say. It was a rough day. I'm not a pro at pulling all-nighters and it usually takes me days to recover from pulling one. I left Rossville around 1pm to start packing up my share of my apartment in West Lafayette. I was able to get an extension on the lease, but I didn't want to stay any longer than I had to. Besides, it's hard to get people to come help you move in the middle of the week. It was a Saturday, my family (for the most part) was gone and my best friend was out of town, so I thought my time was best spent packing up.
Now, I had heard of people moving home for the summer from college and the occasional grown-up kid who couldn't make it on his own and had to move back in with Mom & Dad and I was totally okay with the fact that I was going to be living at home again. My family and I were both really happy that we were all going to be living together again. But I hadn't anticipated how hard it was going to be to squeeze my share of an apartment's worth of stuff into my former bedroom. I didn't even take home half of what was mine.
I was by myself packing, I was sleep deprived, my allergies were so bad my eyes were watering and I was sneezing to beat the band, top that off with me being allergic to dust and the worst allergy season in Indiana I can recall, and I give you a pretty pathetic version of me on August 3.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sunday (August 4th), I got to reunite with my church family at First Baptist in Delphi. It was glorious to fellowship with them and be at my church home. A number of people offered to help me move all my stuff which was incredibly helpful. If you're reading this, and you were involved, I just want to reiterate how thankful I am for you. :)
Monday (August 5th) was my first day back at work. You may recall I started working as a receptionist for Vector Marketing in the Lafayette office back in April. I wasn't very focused or productive. Tuesday felt almost as bad.
Tuesday (August 6th), after I got back from day two back at work, I packed up a duffle bag of two to three days worth of clean clothes and toiletries. Mom and the twins got back from the airport around 9pm and Mom, Rebecca, and I were on the road by 10:30pm headed for Colorado Springs.
Now, the back story for the family we were going to see in Colorado Springs is a blog post in and of itself so I will save that for a later time. What you need to know for now is that the woman who was like my second mother while I was growing up went to be with the Lord and we went to Colorado to visit her husband and children.
After another all night trip, we arrived in Colorado on Wednesday afternoon. Thursday, Scott (the husband) took us on a drive to Hoosier Pass, Buena Vista, Fairplay, and South Park (yep, it's a real place!).
We came back after a super duper long drive on Friday (well, technically Saturday morning) and were beat on Saturday. Three all-night drives in a week may be a little to much for me.
Since then, I've been working five days a week (roughly 35-38hours) and meeting with people to catch up. I still have boxes that haven't been touched since the day I left the apartment stacked up in my room and the garage. However, I blame my allergies for holding me back. I feel like I need to take another Benadryl every time I open a box. At least my bookcase now hold (mostly) books and my international collection is sitting nicely on my dresser. Next to my beta fish (it still surprises me that he's still alive).
I will leave you with the above for now. I plan to write more regularly as I get into the swing of this new life.
As they say in Canada,
Keep your stick on the ice ;)
* is a pseudo-name. I don't know how sensitive I need to be with her information so I am referring to her by a made up name.
The last two weeks of SIL, I was fortunate to be in bed before 1:30am. Seriously. I slept so little during the week and I napped once or twice. I usually nap all the time at SIL. Haha, not this time! My weekends weren't any better. The second weekend of July I went to Minot, the third weekend of July I went to Detroit Lakes, and the last weekend of July I went to Minot (once again) for the State Fair. I really enjoyed my time at SIL despite the deadlines and project requirements etc. Somewhere in there I had a week that had over four projects due. Finals week was my easiest week since June. Yes, finals weeks was easier.
I was glad to be done with classes, to see friends and family I had missed, and I was very excited to start earning a paycheck again. However, I was more sad to leave. I always enjoy my time at SIL, but each summer has been different from all the summers before it. I'm in a different place emotionally and spiritually each summer and each summer I learn something about God that positively astounds me.
I was blessed to have two riding companions come with me as far as Chicago on the return trip. Their names are Larinda and Brenda*. Larinda is the 4th (I think) of twelve or thirteen children. She's a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and lives with her family in South Carolina. She hopes to do Bible Translation in South America. Brenda has two siblings (I think) who are brothers. Brenda is Korean but she grew up in China where her dad was/is a Bible translator. Brenda graduated from high school early and finished her undergraduate degree at CanIL in Vancouver (the Canadian version of SIL that also offers courses during the fall and spring). Brenda and Larinda both started their Masters programs this summer. All three of us were homeschooled. :)
We left Grand Forks on Friday at 2pm CT. From Grand Forks to Minneapolis is a five hour drive, but with these ladies it felt like two. We rolled into Chicago two hours later than we had anticipated, but it didn't matter so much to us. After dropping off the two girls, I trudged the rest of the way to my parents' home in Rossville, IN and passed out on the couch around 6:30am EST. I am so thankful that I had sermons on my iPod to listen to. They engaged my mind long enough to help keep me awake and alert instead of becoming a zombie.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I slept until about noon when Dad came downstairs. He was the only one home (Mom and the twins were in Florida visiting Grandma & Grandpa) and was surprised to find me on the couch.
"I thought it made more sense to come all the way here and leave my stuff from ND here instead of unpacking it in West Lafayette just to pack it all up again," I said. Or at least, that's what I meant to say. It was a rough day. I'm not a pro at pulling all-nighters and it usually takes me days to recover from pulling one. I left Rossville around 1pm to start packing up my share of my apartment in West Lafayette. I was able to get an extension on the lease, but I didn't want to stay any longer than I had to. Besides, it's hard to get people to come help you move in the middle of the week. It was a Saturday, my family (for the most part) was gone and my best friend was out of town, so I thought my time was best spent packing up.
Now, I had heard of people moving home for the summer from college and the occasional grown-up kid who couldn't make it on his own and had to move back in with Mom & Dad and I was totally okay with the fact that I was going to be living at home again. My family and I were both really happy that we were all going to be living together again. But I hadn't anticipated how hard it was going to be to squeeze my share of an apartment's worth of stuff into my former bedroom. I didn't even take home half of what was mine.
I was by myself packing, I was sleep deprived, my allergies were so bad my eyes were watering and I was sneezing to beat the band, top that off with me being allergic to dust and the worst allergy season in Indiana I can recall, and I give you a pretty pathetic version of me on August 3.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sunday (August 4th), I got to reunite with my church family at First Baptist in Delphi. It was glorious to fellowship with them and be at my church home. A number of people offered to help me move all my stuff which was incredibly helpful. If you're reading this, and you were involved, I just want to reiterate how thankful I am for you. :)
Monday (August 5th) was my first day back at work. You may recall I started working as a receptionist for Vector Marketing in the Lafayette office back in April. I wasn't very focused or productive. Tuesday felt almost as bad.
Tuesday (August 6th), after I got back from day two back at work, I packed up a duffle bag of two to three days worth of clean clothes and toiletries. Mom and the twins got back from the airport around 9pm and Mom, Rebecca, and I were on the road by 10:30pm headed for Colorado Springs.
Now, the back story for the family we were going to see in Colorado Springs is a blog post in and of itself so I will save that for a later time. What you need to know for now is that the woman who was like my second mother while I was growing up went to be with the Lord and we went to Colorado to visit her husband and children.
After another all night trip, we arrived in Colorado on Wednesday afternoon. Thursday, Scott (the husband) took us on a drive to Hoosier Pass, Buena Vista, Fairplay, and South Park (yep, it's a real place!).
We came back after a super duper long drive on Friday (well, technically Saturday morning) and were beat on Saturday. Three all-night drives in a week may be a little to much for me.
Since then, I've been working five days a week (roughly 35-38hours) and meeting with people to catch up. I still have boxes that haven't been touched since the day I left the apartment stacked up in my room and the garage. However, I blame my allergies for holding me back. I feel like I need to take another Benadryl every time I open a box. At least my bookcase now hold (mostly) books and my international collection is sitting nicely on my dresser. Next to my beta fish (it still surprises me that he's still alive).
I will leave you with the above for now. I plan to write more regularly as I get into the swing of this new life.
As they say in Canada,
Keep your stick on the ice ;)
* is a pseudo-name. I don't know how sensitive I need to be with her information so I am referring to her by a made up name.
Friday, July 19, 2013
The Clock is Ticking
It's 1:17pm central time. Wilkerson Dining Hall served traditional wings and celery (my favorite special lunch item) and the hot weather of the past few days has broken to a lovely high 70s. I've finally figured out how to circulate air in our enormous dorm room with four fans and I'm starting to talk to more people back home in preparation for the journey two weeks from now.
This time is always bittersweet: two weeks left in this nine week trail of blood, sweat, laughter, and tears. I've soaked in every possible moment of this experience. Yes, it has been my heaviest summer work load since Package A (first summer) and my attention span is now short and my apathy level has risen, but SIL is so much more than classes. It's linguistics. It's community. It's a spiritual journey. It's field preparation. It's beneficial. It's hard. It's exhausting. It's refreshing.
It's hard to leave. Some of us are going home, wherever that is. Some of us are going far away for work or research. Some of us will be living in limbo for a few weeks until our next phase starts. Some of us are getting married. Some of us will never return to SIL. There's a part within me that doesn't want to leave and a part of me that can't wait for it to be over. I look forward to being home and seeing family, friends, and co-workers. I don't want to forget what I've been learning here or go back to a mundane routine.
I'm simultaneously excited and terrified about what life will be like when I go home. Before this summer, I was sad I wasn't going to get my summertime in Indiana (which I haven't had since 2010). Now, I'm considering returning to North Dakota next summer as well and pursuing a masters degree.
Yes, a masters degree. I'm currently enrolled as a non-degree seeking graduate student at the University of North Dakota and I'm taking 9-credit hours. It just so happens, that 9-credits is the limit a grad student can transfer into their program. For SIL, the total credit requirement is 32-credits, 4 of which are supposed to be thesis credits. That leaves 19 other credits which I could cover with two full-time summers. Plus, credits are good for seven years. Mine will be good until 2020 (scary!). Theoretically, I could return to SIL for one of those summers next year, do a 4yr term with Wycliffe, return afterward for my last summer at SIL and then write and defend my thesis the following summer. It seems so simple! (notice the word 'seems'). So that's one thing I've been thinking about.
This has been my first summer here without the lovely London Cline (now Brumleve). God gave me such a priceless treasure in her. Not that God hasn't provided a super cool roommate for me this summer. The illustrious Beth Gray has been awesome. At her wedding, London and I agreed we needed to Skype sometime before I went back home. It didn't happen until earlier this week. I anticipated our Skype session to last for an hour and a half or so and to be somewhat about life stuff and somewhat about spiritual stuff. After our first Skype session, we had only covered some life stuff and hadn't even scraped the surface of what we wanted (and probably needed) to share. We scheduled for the next day at the same time. Again, almost two hours of life and getting into deep stuff mixed with spiritual stuff. Our third Skype session is scheduled for Monday afternoon. I can't wait to see what we can share with each other. From my first day of SIL ever, she's been such an encouragement to me and I've been so blessed by her. Thank you, Lord.
As much as I love pouring my heart for the world to see on this blog of mine, I do have a test in Ethnographic Methods today at 4. Your prayers are much appreciated. Ethnography isn't exactly my strong point and there are so. many. terms. agh.
I have more things to tell y'all about, but they will have to wait for later. ;)
<3
This time is always bittersweet: two weeks left in this nine week trail of blood, sweat, laughter, and tears. I've soaked in every possible moment of this experience. Yes, it has been my heaviest summer work load since Package A (first summer) and my attention span is now short and my apathy level has risen, but SIL is so much more than classes. It's linguistics. It's community. It's a spiritual journey. It's field preparation. It's beneficial. It's hard. It's exhausting. It's refreshing.
It's hard to leave. Some of us are going home, wherever that is. Some of us are going far away for work or research. Some of us will be living in limbo for a few weeks until our next phase starts. Some of us are getting married. Some of us will never return to SIL. There's a part within me that doesn't want to leave and a part of me that can't wait for it to be over. I look forward to being home and seeing family, friends, and co-workers. I don't want to forget what I've been learning here or go back to a mundane routine.
I'm simultaneously excited and terrified about what life will be like when I go home. Before this summer, I was sad I wasn't going to get my summertime in Indiana (which I haven't had since 2010). Now, I'm considering returning to North Dakota next summer as well and pursuing a masters degree.
Yes, a masters degree. I'm currently enrolled as a non-degree seeking graduate student at the University of North Dakota and I'm taking 9-credit hours. It just so happens, that 9-credits is the limit a grad student can transfer into their program. For SIL, the total credit requirement is 32-credits, 4 of which are supposed to be thesis credits. That leaves 19 other credits which I could cover with two full-time summers. Plus, credits are good for seven years. Mine will be good until 2020 (scary!). Theoretically, I could return to SIL for one of those summers next year, do a 4yr term with Wycliffe, return afterward for my last summer at SIL and then write and defend my thesis the following summer. It seems so simple! (notice the word 'seems'). So that's one thing I've been thinking about.
This has been my first summer here without the lovely London Cline (now Brumleve). God gave me such a priceless treasure in her. Not that God hasn't provided a super cool roommate for me this summer. The illustrious Beth Gray has been awesome. At her wedding, London and I agreed we needed to Skype sometime before I went back home. It didn't happen until earlier this week. I anticipated our Skype session to last for an hour and a half or so and to be somewhat about life stuff and somewhat about spiritual stuff. After our first Skype session, we had only covered some life stuff and hadn't even scraped the surface of what we wanted (and probably needed) to share. We scheduled for the next day at the same time. Again, almost two hours of life and getting into deep stuff mixed with spiritual stuff. Our third Skype session is scheduled for Monday afternoon. I can't wait to see what we can share with each other. From my first day of SIL ever, she's been such an encouragement to me and I've been so blessed by her. Thank you, Lord.
As much as I love pouring my heart for the world to see on this blog of mine, I do have a test in Ethnographic Methods today at 4. Your prayers are much appreciated. Ethnography isn't exactly my strong point and there are so. many. terms. agh.
I have more things to tell y'all about, but they will have to wait for later. ;)
<3
Sunday, July 14, 2013
If the Lord wills.....
James 4:7-8, 13-17
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
Psalm 37:4-5
4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.
I've been chewing over James 4:13-14 & 17 in my mind for a couple days now. In children Sunday Schools or youth groups, this passage is usually tied with making money or getting rich. The message is so much deeper than that.
I've been writing letters to some friends I have who are graduating from high school and trying to figure out what advice or wisdom I should give them that I didn't have when I graduated from high school. Looking back, I've realized that I was viewing my future as a compromise between me and God. I wanted to major in Elementary Education so I could be a light to kids in public schools. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely people who are called to do that and it is not an easy calling, but the problem was with my mindset. "Today or tomorrow I will go and become a teacher for awhile and after I've worked enough I'll get married, have children and be a stay-at-home mom" (again, nothing wrong with that if that is your calling). Notice how I critiqued James 4:13 for myself. My motives were pure and admired by lots of people. I love children and legitimately wanted to help them. It was going to be my ministry. I was sure God understood that and would bless it. This is the double-mindedness James 4:8 above is referring to.
This is the interesting part, I hadn't picked my major initially for the purpose of ministry. It was a degree, it was a guaranteed profession, a job I knew I would enjoy, and I'd get summers off to travel and teach English or something, very me oriented things. Around this time was when Brandon Heath's "Give Me Your Eyes" was popular and I seriously considered the message of the song:
It wasn't until I started thinking of it as a ministry that my heart began to change. I prayed and asked God to give me His eyes and to show me how He felt about those around me. When I began to see with His eyes and reached out to those around me, I realized a school was not my ministry. This was about the time I took my first linguistics class.
This was a period of intense growth in my spiritual walk. I was mourning a failed relationship and hurting when I came across Psalm 37. The whole chapter is about trusting God, delighting in His character, and giving Him everything. I began to draw near to Him and find healing in the character of God and committing myself to Him. Yes, I had already been saved, but "committing your way to the Lord" is a daily act. When we commit our way to Him daily and delight in His character He fulfills our desires because He gives us those desires. I desired to serve Him no matter what that looked like. I discovered that God was calling me to something far greater than what I had thought He would bless. He was calling me to a life of service and sacrifice for His glory.
If the Lord wills, I will finish my application with Wycliffe and leave for the field in about a year. I will serve Him as much as I can wherever I am until then. My life has been radically changed. I never thought I would do missions. I never imagined how God would change me over the last four years. I never imagined how much He would shape my desires to His desires. I never imagined how simultaneously difficult and wonderful it would be. I trusted Him, and He acted. In my life and in the lives of the people He's helped me see.
I encourage you, brothers and sisters, to pray for God's eyes. I encourage you to delight yourself in Him and trust Him. Know what your true calling is and do it.
He just might radically change you.
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
Psalm 37:4-5
4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.
I've been chewing over James 4:13-14 & 17 in my mind for a couple days now. In children Sunday Schools or youth groups, this passage is usually tied with making money or getting rich. The message is so much deeper than that.
I've been writing letters to some friends I have who are graduating from high school and trying to figure out what advice or wisdom I should give them that I didn't have when I graduated from high school. Looking back, I've realized that I was viewing my future as a compromise between me and God. I wanted to major in Elementary Education so I could be a light to kids in public schools. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely people who are called to do that and it is not an easy calling, but the problem was with my mindset. "Today or tomorrow I will go and become a teacher for awhile and after I've worked enough I'll get married, have children and be a stay-at-home mom" (again, nothing wrong with that if that is your calling). Notice how I critiqued James 4:13 for myself. My motives were pure and admired by lots of people. I love children and legitimately wanted to help them. It was going to be my ministry. I was sure God understood that and would bless it. This is the double-mindedness James 4:8 above is referring to.
This is the interesting part, I hadn't picked my major initially for the purpose of ministry. It was a degree, it was a guaranteed profession, a job I knew I would enjoy, and I'd get summers off to travel and teach English or something, very me oriented things. Around this time was when Brandon Heath's "Give Me Your Eyes" was popular and I seriously considered the message of the song:
"Give me Your eyes for just one second.
Give me Your eyes so I can see everything I keep on missing.
Give me Your love for humanity.
Give me Your arms for the brokenhearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your eyes for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see."
It wasn't until I started thinking of it as a ministry that my heart began to change. I prayed and asked God to give me His eyes and to show me how He felt about those around me. When I began to see with His eyes and reached out to those around me, I realized a school was not my ministry. This was about the time I took my first linguistics class.
This was a period of intense growth in my spiritual walk. I was mourning a failed relationship and hurting when I came across Psalm 37. The whole chapter is about trusting God, delighting in His character, and giving Him everything. I began to draw near to Him and find healing in the character of God and committing myself to Him. Yes, I had already been saved, but "committing your way to the Lord" is a daily act. When we commit our way to Him daily and delight in His character He fulfills our desires because He gives us those desires. I desired to serve Him no matter what that looked like. I discovered that God was calling me to something far greater than what I had thought He would bless. He was calling me to a life of service and sacrifice for His glory.
If the Lord wills, I will finish my application with Wycliffe and leave for the field in about a year. I will serve Him as much as I can wherever I am until then. My life has been radically changed. I never thought I would do missions. I never imagined how God would change me over the last four years. I never imagined how much He would shape my desires to His desires. I never imagined how simultaneously difficult and wonderful it would be. I trusted Him, and He acted. In my life and in the lives of the people He's helped me see.
I encourage you, brothers and sisters, to pray for God's eyes. I encourage you to delight yourself in Him and trust Him. Know what your true calling is and do it.
He just might radically change you.
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