Thursday, April 18, 2013

Not Quite 2am, But Feels Something Like It

Once again, I returned home from closing at the Lafayette Chick-fil-A FSU. I parked into a spot no where near close to my front door, juggled the multiple things I was carrying inside until I found my key to unlock the door, looked for Bekah. When I didn't see her, I turned off the kitchen light and went upstairs to my room. The milkshake spattered belt was the first to go, the lemonade and tea stained pants, the chocolate smudged shirt, the gucky black socks were tossed off with disgust. All was replaced with bedtime attire including fuzzy coffee themed pajama bottoms.

I told myself more than once that my next step was to go to bed. Yet here I am, talking to you, because my mind is still working and because I might have something I want to say or express. I'm currently reading The Great Gatsby. I'm enjoying it, it's well written, but its element of mystery isn't fit for this mind this evening. Er, morning.

Life will drastically going to be changing within the next couple weeks. Martha, a wonderful young woman from my InterVarsity chapter, will be moving into my room with me. She'll be taking my place while I'm away at SIL. We'll be here together for about three weeks before I leave. I'm very much looking forward to living with her.

SIL. I cannot wait to go. I will certainly miss home and my loved ones, but God has done great things in my heart there in the past and I look forward to what He has in store for me there this summer. It'll have new and different challenges as well as new and different blessings. I really look forward to seeing my nephews and sister again. Journey is going to be performing at the North Dakota State Fair this year. Maybe I can convince one of them to go with me. :)

After I return from SIL, I'm moving back into the ole Riepe homestead. Mom and Dad are lamenting their loss of a room for storage purposes. I've already insisted that I don't mind a few boxes here and there, but if they're storing it, do they really need it. ;) It will be an adjusting after living away for a couple years. However, I think it will give me the opportunity I've wanted to grow closer to my sister Becca and help out my mom with her motherly duties.  


Either today or yesterday, I was reading in John 11. To familiarize you with the passage, it's when Lazarus gets sick and Mary and Martha send for Jesus. Jesus stays away doing his Jesus thing and Lazarus dies. Jesus finally gets there after Lazarus has been buried in the tomb for four days. When Martha sees Him coming, she runs to meet Him, falls at His feet and says, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died" (11:21). Even in her hurt, Martha confesses to Jesus that she knows He has the power to resurrect her brother, yet she mourns. Martha returns to her sister Mary and prompts her to go to Jesus. Mary runs to Jesus, falls at His feet and says, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died" (11:32). Jesus weeps at the grief both sisters have expressed to Him. But then He does the impossible and brings Lazarus back to life. Guess what! We were given a hint this would happen in verse 4 when Jesus said, "This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it."

Now, I'm not saying that Lazarus didn't really die. The passage removes all doubt of that. When Jesus is talking about 'death' in verse 4, I think he's talking about Mary and Martha. The death of their brother was difficult, heartbreaking (especially when they both believed Jesus could have prevented it), and traumatic. They probably felt abandoned, let down, ignored, and rejected just to name a few of the possibilities. Mary is so hurt that she needs to be prodded by Martha to go to Jesus. Martha tells Jesus she's trying so hard to understand, but she doesn't. The miracle that Jesus did in Lazarus brought Mary and Martha even closer to Him than before. He proved that they could in fact trust Him, even when it seemed like He was powerless. Because HIS plan was better. The more I read Scripture, the more I'm convinced that we only see the little bit we're involved in. We don't see the big picture like God does.

I don't know why my dear friend's daughter is terribly ill and can't seem to catch a break. But she and her family have brought hope, comfort, and joy to so many other people and entire families through their struggles. I don't know why my mother's close friend has endured decades of financial struggles. But she's encouraged my mom and myself (at the very least) that God does provide and that you can trust Him with your finances even when your income is small. I don't know why I grew so close in my relationship to a young man for him to be taken away. But it has taught me to understand how others can hurt so deeply, it's helped me understand how I pretty frequently make God feel, it has humbled me and shown me just how weak and frail I am. I hope I am able to bless someone else with the lessons I've learned and love the unlovable who needs to know Jesus in a real way...

This leads me to wonder: what part of me spiritually, emotionally, is dead and needs resurrection?
What part of you needs resurrection?
Have you rolled the stone from the entrance to the tomb of your heart for Jesus to bring to life?

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